Daily Archives: May 7, 2001

I apologize whole-heartedly for too much journaling today. It’s just that the inner dialogue is over-flowing. I feel the need to write about stuff. Just stuff.

Eric came home at 3pm for a late lunch. I think we are going to follow my plan for dinner. That being: rent a video and eat out of the freezer. Sometimes I miss having female friends on hand. Tania would understand this need, this simple luxury.

Doing laundry and soaking dishes. I dropped my quarter jar on the way back from the laundry room. I don’t know how I managed to do it, but it slipped from my hand. For an instant seemed to hang in mid-air before plummeting to the white concrete and exploding. I had that jug since before I started college. Kind of sad. But really the sun glinting off the quarters and the shards of glass was very pretty. As I was picking quarters up, Bonnie (the landlady), brought some prospective tenants back to look at the laundry room. They had to step around me and my mess. Bonnie felt sorry for me, but there was really nothing to be done. I cleaned up the coins and then brought a broom down from my apartment. I only cut myself once; slightly under my fingernail. I hope I got all the pieces. I wouldn’t want the little boy downstairs finding a shard and cutting himself.

Done with my 1000 words. I should probably press on but…

It’s hot today. I think I’m gonna go take a shower ant then clean the apartment for a while. I still have that undone laundry and all.

I’m feeling a bit better. Maybe eventually today I’ll feel like I’ve done enough stuff and sit down to read.

Well I suppose, since I don’t feel like moving from in front of my computer, I’ll write.

I… Hrm.
I’m wanting to hide under my desk again. This feeling started yesterday after gaming. A want to hide away from everyone’s expectations of me, hide away from work. I told Eric that I wanted to find a cardboard box and hide. “Remember what it was like when you were a kid and you got to play in a big box? You were the master of your own little world. Just you and no one else.” He asked if he was invited into my box. I told the truth and said no. He seemed to understand.

It’s probably just PMS. Maybe I should look into Serafin/Prozac for this. Don’t know. There’s so much to do today and I just don’t wan to do anything. And knowing I can’t go hide, just makes me anxious on top of it all.