There’s a philosophy in the entertainment industry that I despise. It’s been dubbed around the Nabity household as “wouldn’t it be cool if…” because I imagine writers/directors/producers/etc. brainstorming ideas for a project when one of them says, “Hey, wouldn’t it be cool if…?” Usually the idea following that statement has no good reason for being other than it’s cool. It’s a juvenile form of storytelling. It doesn’t bother itself with cause and effect. I’m trying to think of a good idea at the moment, but I really can’t. No, wait, many things about Star Wars, episodes I, II, III. “Wouldn’t it be cool if Anakin built C3P0 instead of him being a putz robot that got caught up in events?” “Wouldn’t it be cool if R2D2 had rocket propulsion that he never, ever uses again?” “Wouldn’t it be cool if we shoehorn the Fett family and Chewbacca into these movies?” “Wouldn’t it be cool if Yoda gets into a lightsaber battle instead of crushing Dooku’s head like he’s guest starring on “Kids in the Hall” (which we all know is what a short 850+ year old Jedi should do)?” And thus. Personally, I think Ep. I, II, & III would have been better movies if someone had just said, “No, George. ”
Reading this article on the upcoming AVP sequel give me the impression that the whole thing will be one “wouldn’t it be cool if” after another it. Why would an Alien use a juvenile of our species to procreate? You wouldn’t think that a face-hugger could fit on a kid, have enough sustenance for gestation, or have room to grow. Fine, I guess it could happen. But making the cleaner analogy for the main Predator character is silly. Everybody knows that a good cleaner would nuke the entire site from the air…just to be sure.