Tag Archives: depression

Roughly Done

Finished the rough draft of Divine Fire yesterday.  Today, I’m catching up on my reading.  Or at least that’s the theory.  I still have three magazines, a chapter of LotR, and quite a bit of David Copperfield.  It would probably help if the internet and I parted ways for the night.

A couple interesting science bits:

Dueling Nostrils: Will It Be the Scent of a Rose or a Marker Pen?: Scientific American

Really? – The Claim – Some Foods Can Ease Arthritis Pain – NYTimes.com

Depression’s Evolutionary Roots: Scientific American
Speaking anecdotally, I don’t entirely buy this line of reasoning. Often “depressive rumination” consists of fixating on very trivial things, not problem solving. Becoming utterly focused on trivial things is not helpful.

Sometimes people are reluctant to disclose the reason for their depression because it is embarrassing or sensitive, they find it painful, they believe they must soldier on and ignore them, or they have difficulty putting their complex internal struggles into words.

And sometimes, the “reason” for depression is utterly irrational and baseless. If fact, if depression has an easily defined cause, it’s probably not clinical depression at all. Instead, it probably falls within the the realm of normal feelings. But I could be totally off on that.

I never claimed to be normal.

The Neuroscience of Yoricks’s Ghost and other Afterimages: Scientific American
I have trouble with afterimages some times. I can close my eyes or even just glace away from something I’ve looked at for a second and see very vivid, long-lasting afterimages. Are my neurons adapting too quickly and abnormally slow at the reset?

I also seem to have a mild form of face blindness. (Probably more like a bad memory for faces (prosopamnesia) than prosopagnosia.) Despite teasing about not recognizing an actor in a different role, I never thought about it too much. Until I was introduced and reintroduced to a fellow disc player about four times over a short period of time. I still often don’t recognize him. He’s not the only one, but the most extreme example that’s occurred. In retrospect, I’ve always had more trouble recognizing female faces (which probably contributes to my social anxiety within the context of female groups) and have generally been attracted to men with strong features.

I’ve suffered from an extreme case of all-of-this-sucks over the last couple of weeks. Of course, it doesn’t all suck, but I get into those moods. I stumbled through a week of lackluster work and less than disc than is preferred. This week, I really need to be over it.

Yesterday was busy. Eric and I attended the morning and afternoon sessions of ASU’s Origins Public Symposium, ducking out before the Nobel panel to get to an early disc game. The lectures by Pinker, Krauss and Venter were particularly interesting. I’ll probably check back in a few days to see if some video of the weekend events have been added.

Disc was good. Plastic Falls is out of crossover play and solidly won over one of our fellow Monday teams. Only two weeks left in the season, which makes me a little sad. Last week, my body felt pretty good and I pretty much wasted the time being inert. This week, my body isn’t doing so well, but I’ll manage.

Occasionally, I have days when nothing particularly matters. I don’t get any work done. During those kinds of days, I know I will regret getting nothing done. This doesn’t spur me into action. I don’t even spend my time doing something I shouldn’t, like playing EQ or dabbling with web pages. I do nothing. For long stretches. Sometimes, I drink during these bouts. Thursday and Friday were those kinds of days.

I could have worked Saturday and Sunday, but I didn’t. I feel less guilty for that. I would have resented it.

Today, I could spend time feeling like a heel for wasting so much of my time last week. That wouldn’t do me any good. Instead, I’ll get back to what I should be doing. And try to do *that* for as long as possible.

Recent reading:
Scene Stealer – Who Threw the DVD From the Train? – NYTimes.com
Op-Ed Contributor – Reading Test Dummies – NYTimes.com
snopes.com: M*A*S*H: Col. Henry Blake’s Death

Listened to:
NIN|JA 2009
Must say, I wouldn’t mind going to this concert.