Free writing here because I’m too lazy to go into the front room and find my clipboard.
Working on a new D&D campaign. So full of potential and possibilities. Or not. Eric and I had a conversation the other night and it became very apparent that he really does look ahead, always, almost to a fault. For him the world is potential and possibilities. This isn’t true for me. Ask me where I’ll be in five years and I’ll answer that it will look very much like today. Even though it will be very different. Maybe even profoundly different. Because looking back five years, ten years, my world is considerably different, and I couldn’t have predicted today at all. I look back. I compare today with yesterday before I make any predictions about tomorrow. This view is also quite flawed. Would it make any sense to predict tomorrow’s weather not only on today’s and yesterday’s, but the weather of last year’s March 5th? Yet, I measure life like this. Take gaming for example. In the beginning, I had nothing previous to compare it to. I was excited and fearless. Now, I get stuck in comparing today with yesterday. “I’ve already run *that* campaign,” I think. “And *that* idea failed previously.” And why should I even bother getting excited when this campaign might peter out like the last one and the one before? Of course, paradoxically, it’s lack of enthusiasm and thought that causes many of those campaigns to fail. It’s pessimism and I wonder of really pessimism is the comparing of the present to the past, and especially the negative aspects of the past. It affects my writing as well. I am smothered under the weight of past failures and paralyzed from even trying anything new or dynamic. It’s fear of discomfort versus comfort. It’s many things.
Got nothing done Friday that I can remember.
Yesterday, I DMed and played Star Wars Galaxies some. And watched The Departed. It’s not a bad movie, but I didn’t care for the abruptness of the ending. That seemed shoddy to me.
Today, we decided that an Eberron campaign might be interesting, and have been steeping ourselves in that. Also went out and played disc. Disc is good.